Name It to Tame It: Helping Children Understand Their Emotions

We’re becoming better at talking about emotions, but how do we actually teach our children to understand them?

As parents, we are our children’s greatest teachers. From the moment they’re born, they watch and learn from us, how we speak, how we react, and how we handle the highs and lows of life.

Many of us parenting primary-aged children today didn’t grow up in homes where emotions were openly spoken about. It wasn’t until the 1980s and 1990s that ideas around emotional intelligence began to emerge. Into the 2000s, parenting programmes such as The Incredible Years helped normalise emotional connection and positive communication, while the 2010s brought mindfulness and the “whole-child” approach into mainstream parenting through the work of Dr Daniel Siegel. The pandemic years of the 2020s then placed children’s mental health firmly in the spotlight, reinforcing the need to build emotional language and awareness into everyday family life.

Still, many parents are left wondering how to teach their child about emotions.

Why It Matters

Children begin to experience a full range of emotions from a young age: excitement, frustration, worry, pride, sadness, and anger. But identifying and understanding these emotions doesn’t come naturally; it has to be taught.

By naming emotions, we give children the language to describe what they feel,  turning confusion into understanding. As Dr Daniel Siegel (author of The Whole-Brain Child) explains, when children can label their emotions, it helps them calm their nervous system and start to manage those feelings rather than be overwhelmed by them: “Name it to tame it.”

From a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) perspective, this is the first step in emotional regulation. Naming emotions builds self-awareness. Linking what’s happening in the body (a racing heart, sweaty palms, or butterflies in the tummy) with the emotion being felt (worry, excitement, or anger). Over time, this helps children recognise patterns and choose how to respond.

How to Start

You can start teaching children about emotions early, through everyday moments:

• Name what you notice.
  “Are you frustrated that your tower fell over?”

• Model your own emotions.
  “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath.”

• Wonder aloud.
  “I wonder if you’re feeling nervous about your test today?”

• Use stories and play.
  Books, puppets, or drawing can help children connect situations to feelings.

  These small moments teach children that emotions are normal, that they change, and that it’s safe to talk about them.

How Brave Beginnings Can Help

At Brave Beginnings, we believe emotional education is just as important as academic learning.

If your child is struggling to manage big feelings, or you’re unsure where to start, we can help:

• 1:1 sessions for children

• Parent-led support programmes to guide you at home

• Our journal, Little Moments Big Feelings, helps children reflect, name, and understand their emotions

Together, we can help children learn to name it, understand it, and tame it- one feeling at a time.